Xplaination....Good One

Sometimes u just cant Xplain...

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk. 

A man comes in and asks the farmer,

 

"Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?

 

" The farmer says,

 

"Some things you just can't explain."

 

"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.

 

The farmer then decides to try and answer,

 

"Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her.

 

Just as I got the bucket about full,

 

she took her left leg and kicked it over."

 

 

That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"

 

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

 

"Try me" the man says.

 

 

The farmer relenting, continued

 

"I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope.

 

Then I sat down and continued to milk her.

 

Just as I got the bucket about full

 

she took her right leg and kicked it over."

 

 

"Ok so 2 buckets of milk spilled. That still isn't that bad."

 

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

 

 

" So, what did you do then?"

 

the man asked, intrigued.

 

 

"I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right.

 

I sat back down and continued to milk her,

 

and just as I got the bucket just about full,

 

the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

 

 

"Wow, you must have been pretty upset!"

 

but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."

 

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

 

"So then what else did you do?"

 

the man asked again. "

 

Well I didn't have any more rope,

 

so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.

 

That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in.

 

 

"Like I said! Some things you just can't explain."

--

Venky Parody Scene. (In Telugu)

Venky Parody Scene.....Enjoy only for YSR fans...

Naku venky train taagi brahmi ni kotte comedy scene parody cheyalanpistondi like dis
Raviteja-YS Jagan
Brahmi - VH gaadu
AVS-- KK gadu
YSJagan, KVP, Ambati n his co is enjoying the party...then this VH came, then
VH: "Stop...Stop...wat u people r thinking? Is it congress party or local party"... ani Jagan ni choostoo..." Mee nanna laa descipline ga undalevaa nuvvu " ani antaadu
Jagan: "Orey nee avataaraaniki nuvvu maatlaade maatalaku emanna polika undatraaa"
VH: "Hey...Hey...Avataaraaniki...deeniki sambandamentoye..." anagaane...
YSJagan okati peekutaadu....
VH: "Enti kottava?"
Jagan: "Em doubt aa?" ani malli inkokati peekutaadu
VH:"Confirm ...Naku Delhi lo pani undi...nenu vastaanu sir..."
Jagan: "Rey aagu...neetho pani undi...."
VH:" Ante delhi lo high command tho pani undi ..... bagaa..anduku"
Jagan:"Naku ikkada pani ledu...Ikkada undu.. " anee...
Jagan:"Avunu raa...Nenu Khammam lo Sonia plexies ni chimpeyinchana...."
VH: "Ledandi..."
Jagan: okati peeki..."Mari monna annavu..."
Jagan:"Nenu,KVP groups encourage chestunnama?..."
VH:"Ane untaa....naku kovvu ekkuva konchem..."
Jagan: okati peeki..." Era..naku OMC lo vaata undani,BJP vaallatho link undani...Income tax raids cheyinchamani chebutaavu raa...."
Ani peekulu meeda peekutaadu... Taruvaata
Jagan: "Rey .. aa gajini(Bcoz 20 days back he(KK) told that he dont know JAGAN) gaadini rammanu raa .."
VH:"Evaru... KK gaara..." anagaane okati peekutaadu...ventane
VH:"Sir..naku teleeka adugutaanu...ipudu enduku peekaaro telsukovachaa..." ani

Jagan:" AA gajini gaadini KK gaaru annanduku..."
VH: "arey Gajini ..arey Gajini.... babu rammantunnadu...."
KK:"Emiti VH, emiti Jagan rammante veltaava? "
VH:"Ipudu situation veru KK ji,"
KK:"Emiti VH, Emiti paristithi veru..Nenu choopistaagaa...." ani vastaadu...
Jagan:" Rey raaraa... Gajini gaa.. "
KK:"Nannu raa antaava... nenemi VH gadini kaadu... emi chestavo choostaanu antaadu..."
Jagan:"Emitraa rechipotunnavu...."
KK:"AH..Rechipoka..Emi chestaave enti?em kodataava?"
Jagan:"Entra..Ninnu kottalante pedda aalochinchala.. " ani okati peeki…
Jagan:"Choosaava…enta simple yo…avunu raa neeku west bengal Incharge padavi anta avasaramaa raa neeku?"
KK:"Nachaledaa sir meeku?"
Jagan:"Parama chandaalam gaa undi…First resign cheyi…."
KK:"Next time guarantee ga resign chestaanu sir…"

All these time KVP,Ambati all r watching the show n fully njoys the show…

--

Monkey in the Plane

Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.

The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"

Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"

Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"

Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!

--

Discoveries and Inventions by Men and Women

Discoveries and Inventions by Men and Women

Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things… While Women STUCK to shopping.



Fake Encounter

Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles.

The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made.

The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Southern town:

"PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST."

--

Stupid Questions N Perfect Answers!

Are you chewing gum?

"No, I'm John Smith."



"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."

"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"



"What are you going to be when you graduate?"

"An old man"



"I spent three years in college taking medicine."

"Are you well now?"



"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"

"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."


"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."

"Who wants to eat friends?"



"We are having mother for dinner, darling."

"Make sure she's well done."



"I want some rat poison."

"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"



"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."

"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."



"May I hold your hand?"

"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."



"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"

"No, sir, only when it rains."



"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"

"Why? Is it tilted?"



"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"

"No, you'll have to walk"



"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"

"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."



"I have changed my mind."

"Thank heavens! Does it work better now?"



"Would you like your coffee black?"

"What other colors do you have

--

Does Management know their Staff?

Does Management know their Staff?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing..

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such apersonal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said,
"Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?" To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"

Nice Message.... Dont Miss IT

A worried woman went to her gynaecologist and said:

  'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My
baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids
so close together.'

  So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

  She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your
help with this.'

  The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to
the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem.  It's
less dangerous for you too.'

  She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

  Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take
care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born.  If we're
going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There
would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.

  The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a
crime to kill a child!
  'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so
I thought maybe that was the best solution.  The doctor smiled,
realizing that he had made his point.

  He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child
that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime
is the same!

  If you agree, please forward. Together we can help save precious lives!



The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and
miles to go before I sleep "Robert Frost"

--

Birthday Please

Hi

I'm setting up a birthday calendar and need your help. Just click on the link below and enter your birthday details. (It's quick, easy, and you can keep your age a secret.)

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/bd2/86044472a453274459b1489801251c165870126d1386

Thanks
Venkat